I am someone who spends a lot of her life worrying about anything/everything to the point of obsession.  But as anyone with anxiety knows, there is a difference between daily minutiae and the things about which you are extremely anxious over an extended period of time.  The thing about anxiety is that it comes in waves.  No matter what I’m worried about, I’ve learned ways to distract myself, to redirect my attention.  These are the themes of the past week (August 4-11) that pervade

Thurs-Friday ~6PM:  Anxiety about Chicago/  Anxiety about seeing Dan/ Anxiety about meeting Dan’s family and staying at his house

this was manifest in my refusal to pack, refusal to sleep, and insistence on going on useless errands for seemingly random items I last minute decided to bring

Weekend: ‘Should I do drugs for lolla sunday night?’ anxiety combined with anxiety about Dan’s family caring about us having sex in their house

Sunday-Monday: onset of my anxiety about leaving chicago, about my trip being over after so much anticipation/ the realization that the next time we’ll be together, it’s at school, and having anxiety over the fact that he’s living in the sammy house and we’ll be busier at school and our relationship will inevitably change significantly

Monday: anxiety about whether or not dan was going to work on Tuesday and intense depression about having to go home/exhaustion from rolling sunday night and not sleeping

Tuesday: more anxiety about going home, anxiety about how I was going to get to the airport, anxiety about our status as a couple

Wednesday: general airport anxiety, as I took two planes in one day (from O’Hare to PHL and PHL to Las Vegas)

Thursday: Anxiety about whether or not I am pregnant, because I fucked up my birth control last week before lolla and we didn’t use condoms at all, all weekend…. which was eased when I (sort of?) got my period late this afternoon